I’m a graduate student already. I should be doing ____________ by now.
Everybody here has already attended ____________ except for me.
I missed out on all those musical opportunities in high school because of ____________.
I feel it too. Some seasons it seems as though we’re playing a never-ending game of catch-up. So many accomplishments we missed the mark on, so many hours we didn't practice, so many titles we didn't earn.
But what if we flipped the script? 🤔
What if by focusing on everything we missed out on, we're robbing ourselves the opportunity to appreciate everything good we've gained?
Perhaps there are musical accomplishments - sitting section leader, winning that competition, getting accepted to a festival - that you're overlooking or undermining in favor of the ones you didn't get.
Perhaps there are musical skills or knowledge - less central to performance but just as important to musicianship - which you've steadily developed over the years, without drama or a title: leadership ability, ensemble skills, teaching, improvisation, practice habits, or an ability to realize figured bass.
Perhaps there are skills OUTSIDE music that you've developed that contribute to your effectiveness as a musician: writing, research, speaking, business skills!
And finally, there are the rich moments of life you've gained along your journey: the meaningful friendships you've nurtured, the beautiful places you've visited, the meals spent with family, the crazy memories, the bonding conversations. These speak a story into YOUR music which no one else can tell. ❤️
Everyone's journey looks different... what matters more than where you're at right now is the fact that you're going forward.
~ A few more reminders: ~
Use others' achievements as motivation, but not as a measuring stick!
Waste no energy on "SHOULD"s -- "This is where I SHOULD be at," "I SHOULD be able to do this now, "I SHOULD have learned this already." Figure out where you are now, where you want to be, how to get there, and then do it. That's all.
Remember, not everyone moves at the same rate.
The music industry is SO LARGE and contains so many different dimensions - how are you supposed to gauge where the "average standard" falls? Focus on who you are and where you're going.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You (hopefully) know your weaknesses because you're you, but sometimes it's harder to spot others', which makes it easy to conclude that they are exponentially stronger. Don't assume that everyone else is perfect (in fact, I can assure you that they're not).
What if you're actually ahead of where you need to be? What if your perception of other musicians' performance is warped because you don't actually know them? What if you're letting a preconceived notion of assumed inferiority determine how you carry yourself and how you play? 👀u
Flip (or re-direct) the script you're telling yourself. Focus on what DOES make you a wonderful musician and human being -- and if you're stumped, shoot us a message (or reply to this email) and we'd be happy to brainstorm with you!
Cheering for you!
Zoe
Click here to learn more about a truly special long weekend for play, daring, going beyond the possibilities to show your superpowers to the world!
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